Where the monster hunted me each night, breathing fire and contempt into my veins, fueling a pulsing in my ears that prevented me from enjoying the gift of pleasant slumber. Unfortunately, this regression in my sleep is not a surprise. It’s been an extremely hard 18 months, health issues born of trauma have haunted my every minute, but I’m making a change for the better. I’m grieving it, but it’s happening.

Many times, the symptoms we are experiencing are our body’s way of telling us that something isn’t right, that we need to reevaluate our environment, our habits, our inner self talk, etc. All of these pieces work in concert to make us a whole being, and thus, can cause symptoms if something isn’t aligning with our needs.

Here’s to loving ourselves enough to let unfamiliar, possibly unconventional methodologies, serve our healing journeys.

He came nightly, forcefully interjecting himself, laughing at his tenacious pursuit of my sleep and sanity. His unwanted company ultimately preventing me from having a coherent thought, from soaking up the merry and bright that the holidays promise. The monster haunting my every moment, there to remind me that I am different, that I won’t find the tranquility I urgently seek.

Can he sense the desperation beaming from my eyes, from my heart? I slide out of bed, admitting that the pills did not take hold tonight. The monster taps me on the shoulder, I turn around slowly, catching sight of his satisfied smile.

Stress that lays thickly on our backs, our shoulders, gumming up our days and our minds as we navigate this fast-paced world.

It slowly, or sometimes quite suddenly, slithers its way into a life, wrapping itself around limbs, a heart, a vulnerable neck. It’s arresting force refusing to let its victim settle into peace.

Our circadian rhythms are sacred, a gift provided by our environment and our magical bodies to allow us the sleep we deserve.

There is no long-term healing solution that is found instantaneously and without some trial and error.